My Two Cents at Christmas

Who would agree to have a trial set on the 20th of December? Well, that would be me. As luck would have it, opposing counsel has the flu. There was no biological warfare involved, as I understand it is the real flu. So my afternoon miraculously opened up. I figured that, as usual with this time of year, it was necessary to show some appreciation to my staff, and took them out for an early and long lunch. Then I figured, being close to the mall, what an opportune time to catch up on some last minute shopping.

As I was at the mall, I found a few things remarkable and worth noting. Suffice it to say, I truly believe that the mall, any mall in America, is the soft underbelly of our culture. If society is sick, the mall would be the place to put the thermometer. Here is what stood out to me today.

Sears is still open. After years ago, all the lamenting about how this American institution was breathing its last breath, the doors are still open and it is filled from wall to wall with merchandise. (So that’s one Christmas miracle)

As I walked through Sears, I looked intently for anything that resembled that commercial that is currently running on every channel, with the well dressed, attractive young woman, saying to some other frumpy less attractive and well dressed women, “I got it at Sears!”. I’m not at all sure where that chick got her clothes, but it was not at Sears. Not in my neighborhood anyway. I guarantee that in North Orange County, there is no chance of you encountering any young woman fashionably dressed, preaching the gospel of shopping at Sears. Not happening, not this Christmas.

I totally get the effort to pull of a bait and switch, but puhleeese, there must be something comparable to ‘switch’ the buyer to. It definitely ain’t happening here, and Sears would be well served to stop those misleading commercials immediately and send the cash they had budgeted for this advertising farse, to feeding starving children in third world countries. Cut your losses, Sears, abandon the sinking ship of this ad campaign, it is too far fetched and not gonna work.

Secondly, and truly the most disturbing part of my afternoon, is when did it become okay to dress your little girls up as whores? If you are trying to teach them that stripping is a viable profession and get them accustomed to most of their clientele who may look like Santa Claus, then, well played mom. However, to most regular folks, like hopefully, me, this is frightening and apalling.

This is one of those situations when I take out and dust off my idea of roving social workers. They could be like traffic cops. Capable of stopping, shaming and harassing otherwise law abiding citizens when they are outside the bounds of the law. Dressing little girls like whores definitely would be one of those citable events. Certainly if social services had a payments window to collect the fines, something like the court clerks office or the DMV, it could be a significant revenue enhancement. Improper and age inappropriate attire should be worth as much as a serious speeding ticket, say $200.00. If a social services cop was camped out near Santa today, they could generate some significant revenue. Definitely not worth the work of an investigation and home visit, but darnit, a fine may wake these idiot parents up.

Just some thoughts on trying to make the world a better place. It is Christmas after all, who doesn’t want to improve the world for next year.